If I’d Known Page 5

  Resting his free hand on my hip, Joey bends down to explain the rules, speaking directly into my ear, the way he did earlier. At the low murmur of his voice, I catch myself inadvertently leaning into him as I listen. When I feel his chest against my back, I stand up straighter, pulling away. I don't let guys touch me, not so intimately anyway. I need to know they're worth my time before I get close. But I keep gravitating toward Joey. His hands feel like they belong on my body. I step away from him, and his hand falls away. With the release of his touch, I'm snapped awake--once again very aware of the vacant space between us.

  "Harrison, do you have a partner yet? You play winner," a guy in a pink polo shirt calls to Joey from across the room.

  Joey grins and points to me. The pink polo shirt guy smiles wide, like he approves of Joey's choice. I fight back the urge to roll my eyes--oh-so glad I have his approval.

  Within a few minutes, one cup remains on the farthest side of the table, and the guy on the opposite end sinks the ball. Everyone hollers and cheers while the losing couple chugs their beers.

  "This is a stupid game," I observe out loud.

  Joey laughs and takes my hand to lead me to the losers' end.

  "Think of it as one of those carnival games," Joey says from behind me so that only I can hear. "You know, the ones where you have to toss a ring around a bottle or throw darts at balloons. Except we need to get a ping-pong ball into a bunch of cups and force people to drink."

  "Do I get a prize if we win?" I ask sarcastically, realizing too late that he could easily misinterpret that question.

  Joey laughs, revealing the deep dimple with his beautiful smile. "If we win, I'll make sure you go home with a prize," he promises, "even if I have to buy you a stuffed monkey."

  I grin, grateful that he didn't turn the comment into an invitation to get in my shorts. "I'd prefer a zebra."

  This makes him laugh again.

  "Ready?" the guy at the other end calls to us impatiently.

  "Let's win me a zebra," I say, earning strange looks from the spectators who heard me.

  And we do win. It may have helped that the other team just played three games and were kinda drunk. Or it could have had something to do with the fact that I'm pretty damn good at this stupid game. Not bragging or anything, but I'm impressive, sinking the ping-pong ball in cup after cup, earning cheers and high fives from the onlookers. And a bear squeeze of a hug from Joey when I nailed the winning shot, which made it difficult to breathe for more than one reason. Wow, he's built.

  Who knew that the best way to fit in at a party was to kill them at their own game?

  "Who's up next?" one of the losers asks. They have names, but I don't remember them.

  "We've gotta go." Joey's announcement is met with groans.

  That's when I notice the same bitchy girl from earlier glaring at me from across the room. When he takes ahold of my hand, like we're meant to be together, I can't help but smirk at her, which only makes her angrier. So, of course, I laugh.

  "What?" Joey asks, looking in their direction. He must catch on before I say anything because he pulls me closer, settling his hand on the small of my back as he guides me away.

  I check my phone while we climb the stairs and find a text from Tori from two minutes ago. Nina's out front. Waiting.

  "They're out front," I tell Joey, abandoning my empty beer cup next to some expensive-looking sculptures on a table in the hallway.

  As soon as we step outside, I remember, "Oh. My bag."

  "Where'd you leave it?" Joey asks.

  "I'll be right back," I tell him, releasing his grasp to rush along the side of the house. I duck down in the shadows and reach under the deck for my bag.

  When I stand, there's someone behind me.

  "Got it," I say, assuming it's Joey.

  Except this guy's much bigger.

  "Knew you'd show up to find me," he says, hovering a little too close.

  "You're delusional," I tell him, moving to walk past him.

  He grabs my arm, whipping me around to face him. "Where do you think you're going?"

  I stare up at the same annoying guy from earlier today at school. The guy who obviously won't take no for an answer. I search for his name but can't bring it to the surface. God, I really suck with names.

  "Don't touch me." I slip my free hand into my jacket pocket.

  "You think you're too good for me?"

  "Yes," I say, realizing too late that the answer should've remained in my head. "But don't take it personally. I'm too good for most guys."

  That didn't help. His grip on my arm tightens as his cockiness turns bitter.

  "You're such a fucking bitch."

  "I should really have that tattooed somewhere," I say, removing my hand from my pocket and pressing the button. "Now let go of me or I'm going to tattoo my name on your balls."

  He glances down at the blade glistening between his legs.

  "Lana?"

  I don't redirect my eyes from the douche who's cutting off the circulation in my arm.

  I gently tap the crotch of his jeans with the flat part of the blade. He jolts away like I've shocked him. I don't hesitate to escape, finding Joey waiting for me at the front corner of the house. I ease the blade back into the handle and conceal it in my pocket just as I reach him.

  Joey eyes me curiously, glancing behind me. "Everything okay?"

  I provide the most honest answer I can offer at this second. "I need a drink."

  Nina, Tori and Lincoln are standing beside a car I don't recognize. It's huge and old. It looks like a tan tank with a black canvas top. When I look more closely, I notice Gary, Nina's boss from the strip club, in the driver's seat. What the hell? He's the biggest perv in existence. Way too many hands touching girls who are barely legal. I met him once and had to shower immediately after from just being molested by his eyes. Why is he here?

  "Finally!" Tori exclaims when she sees us approaching. She grabs my arm and pulls me away from everyone. "Where have you been? You didn't get in a fight or anything, right? I was getting worried when I couldn't find you. I had a bad feeling because half of these girls are skanks, and I was about to claw someone if I had to stay at this party a single second longer, so I knew you were probably on the edge of taking someone out. Is everything okay?"

  "Take a breath, Tor." I raise my hands for her to see that they're blood-free.

  There's obvious relief in her eyes.

  When we turn back to the car, everyone's seated inside, not leaving us many options. Tori glares at Vic, who is sitting in the middle of the backseat, between Joey and Lincoln. I know she wanted to be the one sitting near Lincoln. She opens the passenger door and slides in beside Nina.

  I'm about to squeeze in after her when she looks up at me and says, "Sit in the back," followed by a wink.

  She closes the door before I can respond.

  When I open the back door, Joey is smiling up at me.

  "Hey," I say, unable to hide my smile.

  He pats his lap. "C'mon in, pretty girl."

  Chapter Five

  "Lying is the worst kind of betrayal."

  I watch the tear drip from my mother's nose onto the pillow as I lie across from her in bed, her hand holding mine tightly.

  "Don't ever lie to protect someone from the truth. Untrue words hurt as much as a knife to the heart."

  "Are you comfortable?" Joey asks, leaning in so that his voice hums in my ear.

  I'm beginning to think this is his way of unraveling me. It's more intimate than the hand he has resting on my hip. I tilt my head toward him, my cheek brushing against his freshly shaven skin. He smells so good. I almost close my eyes to inhale him.

  "I am," I reply, leaning a little farther back into the corner of the car, my legs draped across his, so I have a better view of him.

  "I'm impressed with your beer pong skills." His mouth quirks, giving a hint of his dimple. "You sure you haven't played before?"

  "I'm sure." I smile wryly. "Yo
u owe me a zebra."

  "I do."

  He's slowly moved closer, so now he only has to lean his gorgeous head in just a little to kiss me. Lost in his attentive gaze and seduced by the low rumble of his voice, I want him to kiss me. I brush my hand along his neck, transfixed.

  "Want some?"

  It's like someone shook me and I'm awakened from a trance, dropped back into the middle of reality with music blaring and bodies squeezed in next to us. I catch Nina's scrutinizing eyes in the rearview mirror. Whatever she sees, she isn't happy about it. I remove my hand from Joey's neck and sit up a little straighter.

  Tori leans over with the bottle in her hand. "Lana?"

  "Sure," comes out way too wistful. I clear my throat. Not bothering to look at what I'm drinking, I hold my breath and take two long gulps, breathing out against the astringent peppermint burn.

  I offer the bottle to Joey. After taking his share, he passes it to Vic.

  "Hey," I say when Vic makes eye contact.

  "Vic, this is Lana." Joey nods toward me. "Vic and I go to school together in Vermont."

  "What's up?" Vic nods with a quick lift of the thick black eyebrows that shadow his sunken grey eyes.

  After he takes a long swig from the bottle, he hands it to Lincoln and crosses his arms. The energy rolling off him is dark and brooding. I can tell he's going to be as much fun to have around as the plague. I haven't wanted anything to do with him since I first saw him at the party, and that hasn't changed.

  "How you doin', Lana?" Lincoln asks, his long legs bent uncomfortably behind the front seat.

  I never know how to respond to that question. People don't really want to know the miserable truth. And I can't lie and tell them what they expect to hear, so I offer an ambiguous shrug.

  Even though I saw him at the party, this is the first time Lincoln and I have spoken tonight.

  "I didn't know you and Joey were friends."

  "You and I don't exactly talk about things like that," he replies.

  That's true. I've been his partner in French just about all year, and I don't know much about him other than he plays sports and has a scholarship to go ... somewhere. Oh, and that he apparently has a thing for Tori.

  Most guys do.

  Tori isn't exactly girlfriend material. So I wouldn't have encouraged him if I had known he was seriously into her. She's never been exclusive with a guy for as long as I've known her, which is practically forever. She's distant but flirty. Something about her aloofness comes across as untouchable. And predictably, guys want what they can't have, making her that much more alluring. Tori takes advantage, taunting and teasing. Manipulating to get what she wants before dropping them.

  I feel bad for Lincoln, watching him as he's unable to keep his eyes off her. He's not like the guys we usually go out with. She could really mess him up if he's not careful.

  "Hello, Lana," Nina calls to me from the front seat, annoyed.

  "Uh, sorry," I respond, realizing I haven't even acknowledged her since getting in the car. "How was your night?"

  Nina shrugs. "The usual."

  Nina's nineteen. She dropped out of school last year to work at a local strip club. She's tall and thin with straight dark hair that touches her ass, blessed with breasts that men pay to see and pray to touch. She keeps saying she's planning to get her GED. Not sure I believe it.

  Nina parties with us when she's not working. She's the type of girl who attracts attention everywhere she goes--supermarket included. Guys are pathetic around her. But she's just as standoffish as we are when it comes to getting serious with anyone. Nina's curse is Respect. She demands it from everyone--her friends, her patrons, and especially, her men.

  If they disrespect her, she can throw a punch unlike anyone I know. I was surprised the first time I saw it. She nailed some guy in the face for feeling her up while we were at the movies. I'm pretty sure she broke his nose. Nina taught me how to defend myself. Even gave me the small pink switchblade that I have in my pocket.

  Nina moved in with Tori after sticking a fork in her mother's boyfriend's thigh. He tried to slide his hand under her skirt while they were eating dinner--with her mother sitting across the table! Her mother kicked her out, swearing the man she loved would never have done that. The boyfriend is lucky she didn't aim a little higher. As for her mother ... I have no words.

  I'm still not sure why we're in the ogre's car.

  Then Nina explains, "So Gary offered to give us a ride and hooked us up with a couple partials." Which means he took some nearly empty bottles of liquor from the club's bar. She raises her eyebrows and her mouth forces into a smile.

  Now I know. Gary was our only option, which totally sucks because I'm really not in the mood to put up with his creepy-hand-roaming thing.

  "So explain how we got on the list tonight?" Nina asks, still speaking to us through the rearview mirror.

  "My brother, Parker," Joey explains.

  His fingers casually skim the exposed skin along my waistline. I draw in a quick breath. He must notice because the side of his mouth quirks up, even while he remains focused on Nina's reflection.

  Nina whips around in her seat. "Parker Harrison?" Her eyes flit over Joey's face intently, earning a curious look in return.

  "You know my brother?" he asks, surprised.

  I didn't realize Nina hadn't been told Joey's last name, and she must not have gotten a good look at him 'til now because the relation is pretty obvious.

  Nina flashes me a quick glance before turning back around in her seat, composed once again. "We see him out every once in a while," she says, her voice indifferent.

  But I know better. Truth is, everyone knows who Parker Harrison is. It's hard not to. He's an older, more refined version of Joey. But, unlike Joey, Parker is everywhere--bars, parties, basically anywhere people are having a good time.

  Tucking his cell phone in his pocket, Vic leans forward to talk to Gary. "Can we make a stop?"

  "This isn't a taxi," Gary gripes. "I didn't know I'd be driving all of you." He glares over the seat.

  "Aw, Gary," Nina coos, rubbing her slender, manicured fingers on the back of his bulbous head.

  I repress a gag. I don't know how she fakes it. There's probably more grease in his slicked hair than in the drip bucket at Stella's.

  "You know they're my friends." She leans in close so her shiny red lips are almost touching his ear. "Be nice, please."

  Gary sighs in contentment as she pets his huge ogre head. "Where do you want to go?"

  "I need to pick up some smokes. Next convenience store works," Vic tells him, sitting back against the seat, his fists clenched within his crossed arms.

  What's up with this guy?

  "You smell good," Joey says, his nose brushing against my shoulder.

  "Thanks," I reply, hoping it's the perfume he's attracted to and not Stella's stench. Thinking back to what Tori said earlier, I try not to laugh. Apparently, grease is sexy. That's so wrong.

  "I've been wanting to meet you for a while." He squeezes my waist.

  I jump and my shoulder knocks him in the jaw.

  I cannot believe that just happened.

  "I'm so sorry." I cringe, mortified.

  "It's okay," he assures me, rubbing his chin. "Didn't realize you were ticklish."

  "Very."

  "Everywhere?" he asks, a teasing grin spreading on his gorgeous face.

  Oh, I wish I could lick that dimple. Yup, I really did just think that.

  His other hand grips my thigh. I jump again--without assaulting him this time.

  "Guess so," he says with a laugh, gently rubbing the traitorous spot.

  If I could whip around and straddle him right now, I would. Slutty, I know. But I swear I'm not usually this pathetic. A guy has never affected me like this before. So stop judging.

  "I wish we were alone right now," I whisper in his ear, tucking my hand between his knees and running a thumb over his leg.

  Okay, fine. Judge. I know we haven't ev
en had a full conversation. But I don't care. I'm sitting on top of the muscular thighs of one of the hottest guys I've ever met, and all I want to do is give in to every urge pulsing through my hormonal teenage body. It's like I have no control.

  Joey pulls me in a little closer. "Me too."

  "Need another drink?" Tori asks, leaning so far over the front seat that she's practically in my face. "You know, take the edge off?"

  She eyes Joey's hand on my bare leg and glares at him. He drops it by his side. I sober with the release of his touch.

  "Yeah," I reply guiltily.

  She knows this isn't me. I'm not the girl who spreads my legs for any guy who looks my way. She usually gives me shit for being so cold and bitchy. Then again, she's not sitting on Joey's lap right now, leaning against his firm chest.

  Actually, she's the reason I'm sitting here!

  Tori's almost as small as I am. I could've fit in the front seat of this boat with her and Nina. But she told me to sit in the back with that stupid wink she gave me. So I'm totally blaming my sluttiness on her.

  I grab the bottle from her and guzzle until I can't. If tearing off Joey's clothes isn't an option, then I'm going to need a lot of sedation.

  I hand the bottle to Joey, who draws in several mouthfuls. I guess I'm not the only one fighting to behave.

  We turn into the parking lot of a convenience store with crooked cardboard signs plastered to its grimy windows, advertising cigarettes, milk and lottery tickets. Lincoln slides out of the car after Gary puts it in park. Tori gets out at the same time.

  "Why don't I sit in the back? Vic, you can sit up front."

  "Whatever," he grumbles, stalking past her and toward the store.

  Tori smiles seductively up at Lincoln, brushing her hand along his chest as he holds the door open with the dumbest smile on his face. She's torturing him. And when she ducks into the car, the glint in her eyes tells me she knows it too. Poor guy.

  As soon as she scoots next to Joey, she flips my dangling legs up so my feet are on her thighs. "Hey, Lana."

  I'm in trouble. And when she clutches my ankle, I know she's definitely not happy with me. Again, this is her fault.

  "Hey, Tori," I respond, forcing a smile.

  Joey looks between us and sinks back into the seat like he's trying to get out of the way.